I’m not sure at all how politically incorrect this post is, but I’m going with it anyways.

You’re in Dublin city centre. Traffic is busy and moving slowly – twenty miles an hour or so. You’re feeling great – you have no problems getting around or with your hearing or anything but you are late and in a hurry. Your phone rings, you fumble in your pockets looking for it when *bang*, suddenly you’re on the ground, hurting like hell, a group of people around you looking concernedly, a doctor at your side taking your pulse.

What happened, you say?

You were knocked down, they say. There are a few sniggers as people look at each other realising you’re okay. What hit me?, you say, tenderly feeling your bruises. Someone, with more manners than the rest of the smirking crowd looks at you and says, Well, I hate to tell you, but you were knocked down by…

(Which of these would you be most embarrassed or humiliated to be knocked down by?)

No. 10 – an ambulance. Admittedly very handy for any potential hospital visits, but how do you explain not seeing the big flashing lights, hearing the siren or just not looking around?

No. 9 – an ice cream van. Okay it may not have the flashy lights but it will probably have the music – inevitably some variation of greensleeves or the Popeye theme – and, well, you’re unlikely to get a free cone. They would have ice for bruises though…

No. 8 – a mobile library. Yes they’re big, yes they’d have first aid books, but come on. Seriously?

No. 7 – a Mini Cooper classic. Now, seriously. I know they’re fast, but surely if it hit you, you should knock IT down?

in joint place, being knocked down by a Vespa, a moped or any such motorised hairdryer should result in you being fined for being a moron.

No. 6 – the Viking Splash tour vehicles. They’re huge, unwieldy, full of roaring Vikings and you don’t want to have to say you were hit by one. Loads of photos of the accident would probably ensue, too.

No.5 – I’m putting both these in, as there’s probably only one quite common in Dublin. A postman on his bike or someone riding an adult tricycle. Morto.

No. 4 – a motorised wheelchair/mobility device. My mother has one of these. They’re quite fast. But you, in full use of your legs and with no major handicap should be faster. Really, you should.

No. 3 – Again a joint place battle, seeing as one is probably far more likely than the other. An ecocab or a street cleaning vehicle. Especially if it’s operated by someone from Macnas wearing a Bono head.

No. 2 – a hard battle but I reckon I’ll go with a milk float being the second most embarrassing vehicle you could get knocked down by. Especially if it’s driven by Dougal.

No. 1 – the Luas. Seriously, how can anyone get knocked down by the Luas?

What do you reckon? Am I right about this or is there something far more embarrassing to be knocked down by in Dublin? Have your say!

Wonder would No Nonsense insure you against such an accident? Hmmmm.