It’s been a long time since I sat down and just wrote a rant beginning FUCK at the laptop and meant it.

FUCK, but I’m strangely affected by Twenty’s departure. It’s not so much the fact he stopped (I can understand the reasons) but it’s what he wrote about the Irish blogging scene that made me stop and think.

His exact quote (the emphasis/formatting is mine) was

As well as that I think Irish blogging has changed a lot and I find it very difficult to identify with many of these blogs. They have their own style, and that’s all well and good, but I just don’t think I have anything in common with them. I know that might seem irrelevant but when you have other blogs to spark off, like there were back in the day, then it does make a difference. Of course my blog stands on its own two feet, it always has done and could continue to do so, but I just feel a bit detached from it all. And it’s not that I was ever in it to make friends or be part of a big community. It’s still not a motivation for me despite meeting some top people down the years. Maybe I’m not explaining this well enough but it’s more a vague feeling than anything concrete.

For me the vibrancy and excitement of the scene is gone. I’m not suggesting it was better back then, just better for me. There are those that are new to blogging now that are probably experiencing all that vibrancy now and good luck to them. Anyway, whatever it is it’s a very small part of why I’m shutting up shop.

For some reason this makes me particularly sad. Sad that some of the people reading his blog may be put off now, as it doesn’t seem like fun; sad that his and other people’s experiences have a negative taint to them and sad that he chose to stop without giving some pointers and saying “Why don’t you…?” I can understand how he’s tired after four years in exactly the same way I understood Mulley’s Get out and Push post/challenge but, fuck it, what now?

Even now I can hear Darren saying something akin to “Doyle, you’re a sap. He was only one guy, who didn’t really get “involved” and who made his readership from being a bitter, moany bastard at times” but it makes no difference. I think the thing about this blogging lark for me is to do with the connections we make – whether it’s making someone smile, touching a nerve, making new friends at the pub, going to events or barcamps or dinner or whatever, it’s become a way of cutting through the space and communicating who you are to someone. AJ from Le Craic left a great comment on my blog recently commenting how

It could be argued that blogs are the equivalent to “paper on the wall”, albeit expressed in a more eloquent way. Blogs are basically the answer to this question:

“What do people do when they feel they’re not being listened to? Where can they go? How do they share their stories? What of those that we never hear?”

and that’s something that stayed with me. I’m trying to understand the medium, to grasp just some side of the boat that I can hang on to, to think “yep, this is me, here I am” and be happy with that. My idea of success is measured by the inspiration I get from other people.

I hate the fact that we were brought up in a society where it seemed churlish to talk about and celebrate our successes, where we don’t acknowledge that sometimes we’re all fucking fantastic, funny, creative and witty people, where we feel it’s better to be reticent, to feign ignorance of the work we’ve put into it, the way we craft the words we put down on screen and hope it connects with someone. We all do it, whether it’s hoping someone out there feels the same, or looks at it and thinks “nice one” and all the bits in between. I hate the begrudgery, the hesitation in celebrating other successes and motives questioned when we do. Some people aren’t just after something. Some people like what other people do. I hate the fact this has spilled with such force into blogging as well. It’s through my blogging that I try to escape it each and every time.

Nothing’s perfect – I understand that. I’m neither naive nor stupid enough to think that there’s a nirvana here, a middle ground that everyone will be happy with because that’s just not human nature. I feel somewhat like this guy. However, whether you believe it or not, the universe has rules it operates on and it’s the people who seek to give something back that tend to be the more content ones.

If I do nothing else, I’d love to show just what blogs can do to people like my parents who see that someone being in a newspaper, on the radio or the holy grail of the TV means that their story must be somehow more important than others. That just because someone’s chosen to share your story on that medium makes it more important than what your child said, what your test results are or what inspires you.

I mean, Twenty was probably the one of the best examples of that out there – someone who took a character, a style of communication, a bleak view of people and Dublin mixed in with an irascible sense of humour and made it concrete. Got two books out of it. Won awards. Appeared on Beaut.ie. Okay, so there’s degrees of success but to someone like me who’s looking at doing this as a career, that’s fairly damn impressive. The other one I always point people to is Fiona McPhillip’s MakingBabies. Another brilliant example. And you know me, I could go on.

I feel blessed/lucky/privileged and all that stuff to be born in a time where it’s realised that everyone has a story and more and more we get to hear them. We’re heading towards a time where it’s not about what you do now, but your story of who you are and how you came to be here. It’s not about taking something “too seriously”, it’s about seeing what’s possible, what could be done and trying your best to do it.

I don’t want Twenty’s departure to seem to any newcomers as a signal of either an end or a change in Irish blogging. I’ve been reading blogs for at least four years now and personally (and professionally) I’ve never seen as great a time to get involved, to be part of it, to contribute and to have your voice heard, or, as has happened with me, to make some really good friends. The more we do this – the more we write, the more we comment, the more we share knowledge, ideas, guidance, counsel and what makes us smile, the more we cut through all the other things that seperate us and so we become closer. And that’s not a bad thing at all, is it?

Fine, I’m a sap for getting this worked up by something so – in the long term – pointless, but god damn it, this is my Liverpool, it’s my Star Wars and my X Factor. It’s my equivalent to a soap death. Something is still wrong on the internet and I can’t do anything about it. Fuck.

Darren, you’re thinking a pint would solve this, aren’t you? What do the other Blogpounders and commenters think? Is the Irish blogging scene boring? Is it just, as I’ve read elsewhere, a “mass circle-jerk” or does it have something more to give? Does it interest you? Could it do more? Would really appreciate other opinions on this!